Daria's Fall Clearance Report (aka August's Contest Winners)
In our August issue, I announced a contest so that I could give away some of the neat stuff that I scored at Macworld New York in July. I received many more entries than I expected. Thank You! Here are the results.
 
Grand Prize: iVase
It's a cool-as-heck little flower vase that attaches to the side of your iMac or Macintosh monitor.
  Among all of the funny stuff I received, none made me shriek for
joy as this website did. I then decided to enter my own felines in this
Cat-Scan contest, where live cats are stuffed into flatbed scanners and forced to suffer the scanner rays, all in the name of harmless fun. Before you all send me hate mail and report me to the ASPCA, I swear to you that my cats were not hurt in any way during the scanning process. The lights from the scanner are not all that strong (I've scanned in my own head without closing my eyes) and the cats are completely content to sit on top of the scanner for a few seconds.
 
First Prize: iPocket
Ergonomic snap-on cover for the new iMac and G3 hockey puck mice. Comes with a free Macally CD holder! 
Winner: Barbara Bardenhagen
Winning Entry (Best Sob Story):
I bought my parents an iMac for their 40th anniversary last year, and they truly love the big, wide, wonderful world of computing that I've opened up for them. There is alas, only one thing that prevents their total enjoyment of Mac-dom. Yes, you've guessed it: that awful round mouse! My poor mother is getting progressively crippled from gripping that mouse after prolonged games of Nanosaur. Need I my mention my dear ol' Dad? He truly loves playing Burning Monkey Solitaire, but double-clicking on all those cards with that round mouse is giving him such bad cramps in his fingers that he's becoming increasingly unable to help his darling granddaughters do things like tie their shoelaces, brush their hair... well, you get the idea. It's the little things in life that mean so much to them now, and these will perhaps be taken away from them. And all because of the round iMac mouse. So I beg you, please let me win the iPocket. Not for me, but for my dear parents. Our whole family will be eternally grateful to you.
Bless you, Daria.
 
Second Prize: Macworld Grab Bag
ixMicro wooden toy glider plane, Casady & Greene kazoo, Global Village keychain.
Winner: Ben Anonymous
Winning Entry (Name one of my Mini-Reviews):
You have done several, but the one that really turned me on was the one on Washington Apple Pi "Pi Fillings". Pleeze give me the goody bag. I turn 16 in a few weeks and I need a good key chain for my car keys!!!!
Daria's Disclaimer: If I catch you cutting me off on the highway or doing 35 MPH in a 55 MPH zone, I hereby declare the right to retract your prize!
 
Can I See God's Rate Card?
  Those of you who think that the recent solar eclipse was a
mere case of natural phenomena are sorely mistaken, and
obviously oblivious to the really meaning behind the
spectacle. Luckily, The Register, an information
technology news site located at
http://www.theregister.co.uk/, was there to get the real
scoop! Here's an excerpt from the special report:
The IT industry was left reeling today as Apple mounted its most audacious promotional campaign yet -- one that literally cast its famous 1984 Superbowl ad into the shade.
At 11am British Summer Time, the UK was overcast by the largest Apple logo ever seen. In central London, traffic halted as millions of Brits paused to watch what Apple spokesmen called the Message of the Millennium...
Click on the Apple eclipse of the sun to read the rest of the fascinating story or head your browser to http://www.theregister.co.uk/990811-000009.html .
 
Lay Off The Hookah!
 
Is Microsoft ever going to make it more difficult for me to pick on them? Thank Erik for submitting my favorite error message ever!
 
Signature File of the Month
  You may think that this signature file is only a joke, but you
haven't had to beat your head against a keyboard because you can't
believe that you need to restart the computer just to change from 256 colors to millions of colors. What's even less funny is when the computer engineers at work are floored when they see that the Mac changes resolution and screen color depth on the fly. Well actually, that is funny!
Your mouse has moved.
Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect.
Reboot now? [ OK ]
- Martin Stephens
 
Best Feedback Ever!
I love you, Daria 
Rupert
What can I say, this letter is perfect! … Almost! Send presents next time, too! That way I know I can believe your heart is true!
 
September Comic: Free iMacs, Free PCs and Now This????
While scouting the enemy lines at Circuit City the other day, I came across an astounding number of way-cheap "high-performance" Wintel machines with similar terms to the comic below. Doesn't anyone want to buy things the old fashioned way anymore? You know, that stuff called "cash" that we used to use in the 1980s? Or do we prefer to have our lives tied up in contracts and debt?
